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Please pray for the souls of those lost on 9-11-01 and for their families to find peace

Please pray for those young men and women lost in the Virginia Tech Massacre - Pray for their fasmilies to find peace, and for our nation to rediscover its sanity and its faith in the Almighty God.

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@
www.AssholesAmongUs.com
© Copyright 2006 – David Todeschini – all rights reserved

Go Ahead and BUY Something!

You gotta' admit it....

AssholesAmongUs.com is a really cool URL.

It was inspired by a TV commercial that has long-since stopped running...

It was .... {something} Among Us.

Well, Jozi and I got tired of listening to 12 or more IDENTICAL TV ads during the same 1-hour program...

And we said, "What ASSHOLES!"

If I wasn't convinced to buy your shitty product the FIRST time you ran the ad,

What makes you think I'll buy it if I see the commercial 12 FUCKING TIMES in the space of an hour?

You gotta' be SHITTING ME!

Yeah, I run an Internet Christian Ministry....

But this CRAP is enough to make KORZYBSKI[1] swear!

Some people have money to burn, apparently….

And they throw it away on TV ads,

And write it off as a “business expense”.

It’s a WONDER they don’t go out of business….

That’s how come Buttoneer™ ads claim that their cheap 2-cent vinyl zipper case

Is “a FIFTEEN DOLLAR VALUE”.

And some ASSHOLES Among Us believe it.

They THINK they’re getting a GREAT DEAL!

The same thing is true with a hundred other products advertised on TV….

“Buy this HANDY-DANDY KITCHEN HELPER….

Or this other shit….

Or this bottle of cat-piss stink eliminator….

And We’ll include a SECOND ONE – FREE….

Just pay SEPARATE shipping and handling".

You ASSHOLES!

It comes in the SAME FUCKIN’ BOX!

How much “handling” do they REALLY do?

And WHY is “handling” even necessary?

Here's a good one:

"We'll send you a supply of Hercules Hooks™ FREE for LIFE....

Just pay shipping and handling".

They're not making any money on the products....
The products are a means by which to get you to pay "shipping and handling".
Gotta’ keep them Mexicans busy, y’know!

Otherwise, N.A.F.T.A. is doomed!

I don’t have ANY respect for anyone who is motivated to buy ANYTHING from a TV ad.

I NEVER bought a single solitary thing from a TV ad.…
Up until October, 2006

I sent for two books by Kevin Trudeau about natural cures that I was going to buy anyway.

And since I am an Amazon Affiliate, I could get a good deal and a commission….

But the TV ad said the books were FREE.

All I had to do was “pay shipping and handling”….

NINETEEN DOLLARS worth of “shipping and handling”.
They paid the Post Office six bucks to send the books,

And gave six Mexicans TWO dollars apiece to “handle” the books for a few minutes….

PLUS, they signed me up for a $5.95/month newsletter they never mentioned on the TV….

At least I didn’t HEAR them mention it….

Probably because I didn’t listen to the ENTIRE program;

I was BUSY doing Web sites.

No… not THIS one.

So for once in my life I succumbed to the lure of a TV ad.

And I became an instant ASSHOLE.

Or at least I was TAKEN for an asshole.

But I was not an asshole for long.

I cancelled the newsletter subscription.

But I must give credit where credit is due….

The books are REALLY INFORMATIVE,

And they confirm what I’ve always suspected.

Pharmaceutical companies can’t make money by curing diseases….

Just like tobacco companies can’t make money by helping you to quit smoking.
And books that tell you WHAT to eat can’t keep you from EATING YOURSELF TO DEATH.

And eating at McDonald’s more than once a month will FUCKIN’ KILL YOU OUTRIGHT!

So what do Jozi and I hope to accomplish here….

Except for perpetrating a really elaborate (and expensive)[2] goof?

To be honest….

We wanna’ become another YouTube.com

Oh, SKEPTIC!

That’s what they said about the PET ROCK.

And the plastic and foam “Doggie Steps” that sold 1,500,000 units at $19.95 + S&H

The “handling” folks got their “cut”, too.

Can’t leave them out….

The Mexicans will picket your place of business,

And you’ll be painted as “a racist” on the six-O’clock news.

So we offer AssholesAmongUS.com FOR SALE.

Just $199.95….

Plus Shipping and handling….
I gotta’ tell you….

We got a LOT of Mexicans to feed.

We only have ONE PIECE to sell,

So maybe we should let all you assholes bid against each other on E-bay.

What do you think?

<<<<---- GO Ahead! Click the button and BUY SOMETHING!

PS: My Chief gave me a raise and said, “This is a conglomeration of &^%@$#!”

FOOTNOTES

[1] Alfrek Korzbyski - 1879-1950, Polish-American linguist, b. Warsaw. In his system, which he called General Semantics
[2] Expensive – Domain Names, hosting, the software and other “tools” and the time to do this adds up.