I Contacted a Persistent Phisher with Bogus Contact Info
Got him to send us bogus bank documents and

I was just curious one day as I was spending an inordinate amount of time setting up "rules" in Microsoft Office Outlook to delete all the email shit I get and respond to automatically with a nasty letter, that I ran across multiple - and I mean MULTIPLE - scam emails from one particular jibeep, that I decided to respond in a manner which would lead the bastard to believe that I was stupid, gullible, or so blinded by greed that I believed the bullshit in his attempt to scam me. I sent the contact information he requested (made it up), and used the totally bogus name of Michael J. Bitsko. I was surprised to get a response so quickly; indeed, I didn't expect the Asshole to buy it, since everything but the phone number (which is a VOIP Magic Jack line) I gave him was bogus.... and if he had any way of checking, he would know that. But he answered. So now I am waiting for his partner thief (Terry Colline of the Barclays Bank Plc London) to call me, and if he is here in the USA, I will arrange a face-to-face meeting, complete with hidden cameras and microphones. I have connections with the NY State Attorney General's Office, and I will have the scumbag arrested on the spot.

Dear Mr Michael J. Bitsko,

I write to acknowledge the receipt of your response to my mail and the Information you send was also received.

However, I have forwarded the Information to Mr Terry Colline of the Barclays Bank Plc London whom I used as the Account Officer to the late Mr Gerald Andan (F/O). He will be communicating with you later to advice you on how the fund will be transferred to your designated Bank Account. Meanwhile, remember to keep the entire deal close to yourself until we must have concluded it because of security reasons.

I am also counting so much on your honesty and sincerity in this deal and please it is very important you get back to me immidiately Mr Terry Colline contacts you.

Yours faithfully,

Dr Dele Williams.

Barclays Bank P.L.C. London.

Barclays Bank P.L.C. London.
From: The Desk Of Mr Terry Colline.
Tel:+44 704 573 5758

Attention: Mr Michael J. Bitskos,

I write to inform you that we received the sum of $1.500.000.00 (One Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) from Dr Dele Williams for safe keeping and transfer to your nominated bank.

Be duly informed that we have been directed to transfer this Amount to you, with this latest development, you are requested to reconfirm your information which you gave to this office once again.

Mr Michael J. Bitsko.
3230 60 Street, Woodside NY 11377, U.S.A

It is very important you get back to us with the requested information as soon as possible to enhance the swift transfer of this said Amount into your nominated bank.

This is the procedures we have to follow so as to be sure of where the money is being sent and to avoid any mistake or error.

You are also to forward to this office these Documents,

(1) CERTIFICATE OF INHERITANCE
(2) POWER OF ATTORNEY
(3) CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT

These documents will proove to us that you are the rightful Next Of Kin to the Deceased.

You can reach me on +44 704 573 5758 for further clarifications.

Yours in service,

Mr.Terry Colline.
+44 704 573 5758

Note: You are to notify us incase there is any change in your account details before transfer is effected, this is because if any mistake occurs, you will be paying an additional $ 100 fee as regards the transfer of your fund.

I am in receipt of your eMail dated 4/14/2008, and I wish to have you clarify some points prior to my sending you the requested documentation. Your eMail requests that I provide you with three (3) documents:

(1) CERTIFICATE OF INHERITANCE - What is this, and how do I obtain one? I do not have a copy of a will for Mr Gerald Andan, or any such document.

(2) POWER OF ATTORNEY - Who is to have power of attorney, and for what purpose?

(3) CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT - What is this? A "certificate of deposit" for WHAT, exactly?

Now, I wasn't born yesterday. He knows that I am NOT the "next-of-kin" for this (fictitious) "Gerald Andan", so I could not possibly have item #1 (I assume he is referring to a copy of the 'will').

Your guess is as good as mine as to what this mosquito-dick cretin means by item #3 - "certificate of deposit" (What does he want? - a bank "CD"? - who the hell knows?. This is fluff; a diversion.

What this illiterate prick is really after - I believe - is Power Of Attorney, and my bank information that he will say is required to "wire" the money to my account. His reply to my questions will tell.

Dear Mr Michael J. Bitsko,

How are you doing today?

Are you still with me? I just want to know if you have been contacted by Mr Terry Colline the Account Officer to Late Mr Gerald Andan (F/O) from Barclays Bank London?

Pls it is very important you keep me posted and let me know immediately you are contacted for the Swift Transfer of the $1.500.000.00(One Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) into your designated Account.

I will be looking forward to hearing from you.

Thanks and God bless you

Well, with as many people as this Asshole is probably trying to scam at once, at least he has some sort of time-management system. I'll torture the fucker some more:

Nobody has tried to contact me. My phone number is 718-673-3075. This is a business number I share with a partner - HIS voice is on the answering service. I am in and out of the office. If Dave answers the phone, ask for Michael, and he will put me on. I assume you received my PRIOR eMail; if not, it is duplicated below.

Well, sure enough, after a few days, this jibeep followed up. The phone number that showed up on my Magic Jack screen as originating the call was: +234-1-764-1204 on 4/19/2008 at 6:00:42 PM. Here is the eMail I received from the would-be thief regarding that call which wasn't answered because I was sleeping. I made comments {in curly brackets}.

Yours Sincerely,

Dr Dele Williams.

I am sorry to have missed your call. I will be out of my office traveling to close a very important business deal that we have been working on for months {total bullshit - I plan to take my dog Rocky to the park if the weather clears up}. Please pay whatever costs are involved, and you will be reimbursed {by the Feds when they arrest him}. I do not have all {any} of the documents you requested, since I do not know WHAT three of the documents are, and you or Mr. Colline never replied with an answer to my original questions to Mr. Colline which were:

(1) CERTIFICATE OF INHERITANCE - What is this, and how do I obtain one? I do not have a copy of a will for Mr Gerald Andan, or any such document.

(2) POWER OF ATTORNEY - Who is to have power of attorney, and for what purpose?

(3) CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT - What is this? A "certificate of deposit" for WHAT, exactly?

Once I have clarification of WHAT these documents are, I can send them. Please have Mr. Colline clarify EXACTLY what he wants in these documents.

I will be out of the office today and tomorrow, in Hong-Kong {my Futon is made in Hong Kong}. However, I am flying in by private jet {in my fuckin' DREAMS}, and will be arriving at Teterboro Airport New Jersey on Wednesday at about noon. I will be back in my New York office Thursday morning.

True-to-form, this thieving, lying scumbag sent me the following e-Mail with attached documents. They are faithfully reproduced below his eMail. Please examine the documents carefully; there will be a commentary at the end - see if you can spot the flaws and the bullshit. {my comments in curly brackets}

Dear Mr Michael,

How are you today, I am in receipt of your last mail and the content well understood.

I am very sorry I have to send to you a wrong mail which Mr Terry forwarded to me which he sent to you in answer to your questions. I am therefore sending it to you now.

Mr Bitsko, I was able to procure those Documents that Mr Colline requested for yesterday just as my Attorney promised though they were costly. I got them from my Attorney at the rate of $1,200.00. {notice this jibeep jumped right on my statement in the above eMail that I would reimburse him for costs}

It is very important you send them to Mr Colline immediately you receive this mail. You should send them through Email ASAP so he can start the process of transferring the fund to your designated Account in U.S.

I will call you by Thursday at noon {and I will be ready to record the conversation} to know how far you have gone with the whole transaction and please feel very free to call on Mr Colline any time you have any question for him. His Phone Number is +44 704 5735 758.

Below is Mr Colline`s mail to you which he forwarded to me.

Remain Blessed and wishing you a safe journey to Hong Kong.

Yours Sincerely,

Dr Dele Williams.

FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

FEDERAL MINISTRY OF JUSTICE

IGBOSERE LAGOS- NIGERIA

POWER OF ATTORNEY

That I Barrister Ezeh Johnson, LLB, MLB, LLD, male, Christian, citizen of Nigeria, accredited attorney to late Mr. Andan Gerald office situated at 21 Maitama Avenue, GRA Abuja Nigeria, swear an oath before Justice Bayo Ojo Honorable justice of the federation/minister of justice of Nigeria on behalf of the Federal Republic Of Nigeria do hereby take an oath and solemnly declare as follows:

1) That late Mr. Andan Gerald had the sum of One Million Five Hundred
Thousand United States Dollars Only (US$1,500,000.00), paid to his account with the Barclays Bank Plc London U.k after his death as compensation to his family.

2) That Mr. Michael.J. Bitsko of 3230 60 Street, Woodside NY 11377, U.S.A is now the beneficiary to late Mr Andan Gerald’s fund deposited with Barclays Bank Plc 10^th Floor,1 Churchill Place, Canary Wharf, London U.k.

3) That by virtue of Mr. Michael Bitsko`s position, he is the only person with the legal authority to claim late Mr. Andan Gerald’s fund.

4) That the sum of US$1,500,000.00 should be transfer to Mr. Michael J. Bitsko`s bank account in USA.

5) That I make this affidavit in good faith believing same to be true and correct in accordance with the oath act of 1963.

Sworn to the Supreme Court of Justice Registry, Nigeria, This ……………….. Day of ............................... 2008

Official Stamp Duty: US $520.00

He promptly followed-up with the following eMail. Remember, that while this jibeep is chasing rainbows hoping to find a pot of gold and a Leprechaun at the end of it in his efforts to scam ME, his time is occupied which would otherwise be spent scamming some poor, greedy, ignorant, gullible or stupid (but innocent) Asshole out there.

#1 - A "Barrister" is an officer of the court as are lawyers here in the United States. A false statement on a legal document is a serious crime which could get a REAL "Barrister" disbarred and sent to prison. Obviously, I (in my fictitious name) am NOT the rightful heir to this (fictitious) Asshole's fortune, so that is a LIE, and a LIE for which I could also be sent to prison for..... errrr, I think I'll pass.

#2 - There is no signature on the "notary seal", and the (red) seal is blank - like some useless party clip art you get with Microsoft Word.

#3 - It is doubtful that Nigerian law would have any such thing as "The Oath Act, 1963".

#1 - What the fuck does Sosoliso Airlines Nigeria PLC Africa as "depositor" have to do with anything?

#2 - The "routing number" is left blank (because it can be used along with the account number to verify that the account actually exists).

#1 - The aqua-blue "bubble" background is NOT what a bank would use to forge-proof their documents - it is (again) some party clip-art shit that an 8-year-old would use in an eMail to his friends that there is going to be a pool party at his house on Saturday.

#2 - Again, the statement that I am "next-of-kin" to Mr. Adan Gerald is a fuckin' LIE.